Written By E. Parsons, BSN, RN
“Hi mom!” I smiled as I walked through the door.
“Hi Honey!” she said. “I’m so excited for tonight!”
“What’s tonight mom?” I inquired.
“Oh, now don’t be bashful Emma, I know you are planning a surprise party for your father and I’s 50th anniversary. But don’t worry, I won’t tell your dad.” She said pressing her pointer finger to her lips.
“Mom, honestly, I didn’t have anything planned. Is there something you wanted to do?” I asked.
“Are your sisters flying in for the party? Who did you invite? Oh fine, don’t tell me. I guess I’ll just be surprised.” She said as she placed a dish on the drying rack.
“Mom I’m so sorry I don’t have anything planned, do you want me to put something together for you?” I asked again.
She walked toward me, put her hand on my shoulder, gave a tight squeeze, and said, “Emma, I just want to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. I’m so lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter who would plan such a wonderful surprise party. Your dad is going to be so happy! It’s a big anniversary you know; our 50th! Which dress should I wear?”
“Well, crap,” I thought to myself. “Looks like I’m planning a surprise party! What time is it?”
It was 3:00 in the afternoon already. Crap. I had to plan something for dinner. Crap. The house was a complete mess. Crap. Would any of her friends be available for a party with this late of notice? Crap.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I flew out the front door and into my car. I sailed down the road towards the nearest Costco (when in doubt, go to Costco). I piled pre-made packages of lasagna, salad, and wine into my cart. As I zoomed around the store, I made phone calls to her closest friends and neighbors.
“Hi!” I said shakily. “I know this is totally last minute, but, are you available for a surprise anniversary party for my mom and dad tonight?”
As I hurried from aisle to aisle, I can only imagine the patrons of Costco thought I looked like a deranged maniac. Oh, well. Just another Tuesday as the caregiver of someone with dementia.
Next stop, flower shop!
I ran inside to buy the flowers. “Thank you for making these on such short notice!” I huffed.
“Anytime,” the cashier said with a worried smile.
What time was it now? Crap! 5:30. The party starts in 30 minutes. I pulled into the driveway of my parents home, loaded the Costco bags onto my arms, and ran inside.
“Mom! WHY ARE YOU NAKED!” I gasped in horror.
“It’s hot Emma for Christ sake. I’m in my own home, I can be naked if I please!” she barked haughtily.
“GET DRESSED RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW!” I yelled.
“Why? Why should I get dressed? I AM HOT!” she argued.
“Mom, don’t you remember, it’s your anniversary! Didn’t you want to celebrate?” I asked.
“It’s my anniversary?” She checked her cell phone. “Well I’ll be darned! It sure is. I’m very excited to have a quiet night with your father.”
It was at this moment I began to feel a familiar twitch in my right eyeball. The kind of twitch that only the caregiver of a person with dementia is familiar with. It was a twitchy twitch, the kind that felt- twitchy.
“Mom, come with me. Let’s get you into something beautiful so dad can marvel at you tonight on your anniversary,” I said as I escorted her into her closet.
Ding-Dong
The guests had arrived. Already? ALREADY? Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap!
“MOM GET DRESSED. I WILL COME CHECK ON YOU IN A MOMENT.” I said.
I welcomed the guests inside and told them my parents would be out shortly.
“SURPRISE!” The guests all yelled in unison.
I turned around to see my mother, dressed in a beautiful gown, her hair shiny and curled in all the right places. No one would have guessed she had been stark naked only fifteen minutes prior.
“Oh my goodness!” She gasped in surprise. “Emma! What’s all this? I didn’t know you were planning something for our anniversary! You really need to tell me these things you know.”
As my parents and their guests sat down and enjoyed the Costco lasagna, I could only help but chuckle to myself.
What a crazy, beautiful life.
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